So the past couple of weeks, I have had numerous people ask me if I am alright. I didn’t think anything was wrong, so I told them that everything was fine, but that made me start to wonder if everything was indeed alright with me. I think that I am just stressed between work, getting ready for Dragon*con, and the feeling that I should be doing something else at the stage I am in of my life right now. I pretty much push all of that back in order to get the stuff done that needs to be done, but I guess it is getting to be quite a bit, if random people are noticing.
I am uncertain if I want to stay working where I am now, but at the same time, I don’t feel like taking the time to look for something else. I am overdue for a raise by almost 5 months, and it feels as if I am being taken advantage of at times because of that fact. Let’s see how long we can string him along without having to give him more money. I really need to apply for grad school, but obviously, I have missed any sort of Fall deadline that exists for anywhere.
I have taken on quite a few things that people need made, and I am glad to do it, but I just don’t have the time to do some of it how I want. Lately after work, the last thing that I want to do is work on projects, but that is when I have to do it. I wish that I could just take about 2 weeks off from work to go on a trip or just do something that doesn’t involve costuming, work, on pretty much any form of responsibility. I want to go camping, fishing, something that I used to do often that I miss doing now.
I haven’t had time to do much reading in the past month and a half. I have multiple books started, and they have probably had the bookmarks in the same spot so long, that the tops are discolored. I realize that there is probably time when I could be reading, but lately it was probably spent worrying if I would finish everything that I need to get done for the next con, or trooping event.
I haven’t ridden my bike yet this year. I think this is one of the things that really digs at me the most, but it isn’t something that I think about on a regular basis. Last year, I rode 3-4 times a week, and this year, I have literally not been on my bike at all. This coming Saturday is the HOT 100 ride that I have done the last 2 years, and I couldn’t do it now if I wanted, as I would be too out of shape. This has really made me come to terms with something that I have known for a while, and never really wanted to admit, that I change interests often, and when I do, they are very sudden. I really need to work on making time for multiple hobbies at the same time, and not scavenging one away completely to make room for another.
I guess for now, I just have to soldier on until after Dragon*Con, as I don’t really have an option. I am committed to it, and I know that I will have a blast the time that I am there. Maybe when I get home, it will be time to look at moving to a different career path, or some other drastic change like that to try and get things in order. I guess that time will tell.
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